Our Adoption Journey: Adopting a Baby Girl from India

Believe it or not..I am thankful COVID happened, because it led us to start the overwhelming adoption process, which four years later led me to go to India to pick up our baby girl, Reya. She’s only three years and three months old as of Feb 2025. She wasn’t even born when we started on this journey in 2000 April..me sitting at the bay window of our 24th-floor NYC apartment with the TV blaring frightful COVID statistics and the street below confirming the TV data by both being devoid of the hustle and bustle of NYC foot traffic and at the same time full of ambulances and sirens carrying the people to and out of hospitals.

That was the beginning. Then there were two or three months of rigorous paperwork. This was the main reason we hadn’t started on the adoption process before. There was simply no time or energy to look at the mountains of paperwork adoptive parents are put through when they decide to take this first but crucial step. COVID put an end to that excuse because being at home all the time afforded me the time and energy to pursue and complete the paperwork. 

The next step in the adoption journey was both frustrating and comical. I am referring to all the collection of initial paperwork (addresses, marriage certificates, employment certificates, you name it, we needed it), Zoom calls we had (again, due to COVID) for obtaining digital notary signatures, conducting home visits, fingerprinting, etc. Some of these events were in-person, and others required a reservation. However, by early August 2020, we had completed all the necessary training, signatures, paperwork, visits, payments, and some other tasks that I no longer recall. A full 4+ months later, we were in the Indian adoption system, called CARA: Central Adoption Resource Authority. Since CARA doesn’t work directly with prospective parents, we had to find and hire a local agency in the USA. Ours was located in Seattle, Washington, and called Children's House International. We also had another local agency in NYC, which was responsible for visiting our home and making sure it was suitable for a child to live in. Since we had a 1.5-bedroom apartment in the city, I was always worried that it might be a reason for rejection, but they seemed more concerned with the safety of the place. Things such as, “Do you have a fire extinguisher? Are guns lying around? Do the doors have proper bolts, and windows have proper latches?” All said and done, paperwork and training were only part 1 of a long 4-part process. The three parts of this journey (at least from my perspective) were: Part 2- Waiting to be matched with a child, Part 3-Bringing the child home, which includes the actual physical journey of landing up at the orphanage to pick up the child, and tons and tons (literally) of paperwork. And, finally, Part 4 —the longest and probably the most challenging part —making them part of your family and having them know and feel they are a part of the family. All the steps lead to this crucial and final step.

Moving on to Part 2: Getting matched with a child

The process was both challenging and rewarding. We completed the necessary paperwork, obtained the required clearances, and underwent a home study to ensure that we were suitable to adopt. At this point, we felt ready to see children who were seeking permanent homes. One issue we faced due to COVID was not being able to file until a physical home study and fingerprinting were completed. Physical meetings during the peak of the COVID pandemic were challenging, to say the least. India has a rule that the combined age of the parents on the date of application submission, if it is after a specific date, would affect the age of the child for whom they are eligible. Although we wanted a child under four years old, we were eligible for a child only within the 4-8 year range. The one exception is if the child had a physical or mental challenge. To our luck, our baby girl was born with a hearing defect, but that got resolved soon after we were matched with her. She was 2.5 years old when we were matched with her (because of her then-physical issue). I feel fortunate that our prayers were answered and we were allowed to adopt this adorable baby girl.

We had a few mismatches along the way to getting to Reya, but once we found Reya, we knew our search had ended. I was overjoyed, but we were now at a new address with a one-year-old baby. Life had changed since we had submitted our application. We had to undergo another home study, which delayed us by a few months. But soon I was on my way to getting her from Pune, India. 

Part 3-Bringing the child home: 

I went alone to India to get Reya from the orphanage. We thought it would be less overwhelming for her to meet one new person vs. three new family members. I was nervous on my ride to the given address. I had with me a new backpack (gift from her dad) with some candy, clips, and other small knick-knacks. The moment I held Reya in my arms, I knew I could do it and it would all be ok. She was a beautiful, innocent soul, and we were both ready to start our new life together. Theoretically, practical matters were different. She wouldn’t eat anything; she only liked milk. To date, she is a handful when it comes to eating. 

Overall, the transition to our new life together was not without challenges, but we bonded quickly, over music, over playtime, and TV watching. It was not easy getting to India; my flight was delayed by a day, making me have to leave for Pune almost immediately from Delhi. But this was nothing compared to the trouble I had to face to leave India. First was the matter of getting her American passport. They are so strict in India. They want you to come into the building without a mobile phone. How is one supposed to be aware of this rule? Then, all the medical tests had to be timed just right so they could be completed within the allotted time to get her new temporary American passport and leave the country. Next, there was some silly exit form we needed to complete online, but their payment system was broken, they wouldn’t accept American credit cards, and there were many other problems. At that time, I felt stuck in my own country and a victim of unending bureaucracy. Luckily, CHI had a field agent in Delhi, and she was God sent. With her help, we were finally able to make the payment and get ready for our departure.

Meanwhile, Reya’s bad eating continued, but it seemed like the lesser of the two challenges. Otherwise, she was adjusting well, except she had (as expected) become very clingy. Almost a month after I left Tampa (March 24th), we returned to Tampa (April 15th) to complete our family of two parents and three kids: Oppie, Aesmi, and now Reya. 

Part 4: What happens next?

Overall, Reya is now a happy and thriving toddler. She brings joy and also challenges to our lives. But all said and done, I am grateful for the opportunity to be her parent. The biggest challenge with Reya is her poor eating habits. She used to think if someone put food in her mouth, it’s that person’s job to make that food end up in her stomach. Her attitude towards food hasn’t changed much since day 2 of having her but what is slowly changing is my understanding her and the eating habits of toddlers. And that’s helping. That’s just one example where we are learning to be better parents vs. just making her want to be a better toddler. She loves dancing, we have exposed her to all sorts of dance (ballet, bollywood, hip hop etc.) She’s a tiny puny thing but with the outdoor guts of a lion and monkey combined. She’s in her element climbing monkey bars, jumping around, sliding down slides and swinging herself in a park and I love that about her. Recently, our adoption agency reached out to us asking Reya to be the poster child to help encourage more adoptions from India. It was a proud and happy moment for us all and a good ending to our adoption journey. Thank you for reading this and I hope it inspires some families to go on their own.